Archive for March, 2011

Happy Birthday Gender Freedom

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

Please join me in wishing Gender Freedom a happy birthday we will be one year old on April 16 2011.

You’re Webmistress Judy

The Notes from The UnderGround News Letter Vol.2 No.3

Friday, March 18th, 2011

Ottawa, Canada          March 1990          Vol.2          No.3


Observing the Peoples Reactions

Although my grand ambition in life is to go where I please while wearing my skirts, I have ambivalent feelings toward the 80% or so of the population who is so indifferent to my taste in clothing that they don{t even notice me. has at times made my life quite difficult, so you think these people would at least have the decency to be outraged.

It seems like I went through all that crap for nothing! But then, our imaginations are often our most effective Jailers.

Still, the moment you run into unpleasantness, oh how you wish for indifference! I once went to a play with a friend (a good experience  few rednecks in the thea-tuh) and after the performance we were standing on the street corner waiting  for the traffic light to change when I became aware of a middle aged woman to my left staring at me so intensely I thought she was trying to burn holes into me. The traffic light was taking an eternity to change like they always do on these occasions – and I was starting to get a little uncomfortable, so I turned to her and said, “Hello”. Well you think I’d applied smelling salts to her nose, because she broke out of her stupor so suddenly that she almost reeled off the sidewalk. I guess she realized she was being rude, although I noticed she ouldn’t resist a few more furtive glances when the light finally turned.

People who stare always remind me of an old Bob Hope movie I once saw. He’s dressed up and getting out of his car and theres a crowd of people standing around staring at him and he says: “what’s the matter, never seen a Buick before?” The closest I came to physical violence was at an outdoor restaurant on a summer evening.

Two fellows didnt appreciate our skirts much and were threatening a round of fisticuffs to prove it. Lary and I were being equally insolent to them. It occurred to us that if they did try something, their chances of victory were no better than 50/50 and those odds just werent good enough to face the ignominy of being beaten up by two guys in skirts.



Positive reactions are what we live for though, and the best ones of all come from the women who break into large sunny smiles when they see you. Hard not to fall in love on the spot. And there are many people who, though they dont understand the motivation, still admire your guts for doing what youe doing. Obviously you must be in a certain state of mind to appreciate peoples reactions, but when you feel confident and positive, you can take even more strength from the experience.



My Kingdom for a Purse

Quite often we hear men commenting on how impractical women are when it  comes to their style of fashion. Theyre criticized for wearing high heels and other uncomfortable clothes Just to be fashionable. Ironically few men would admit that it  was they that originally forced these styles on women. Of course, who could be more practical than men? All a man needs is the ever present suit, an item of clothing so boring that it was never given a name. A suit is just called a suit – boring, predictable, nameless. The biggest decision most men have to make when it comes time to dress for the day is whether to wear the blue or the grey one. Since the suit is so standardized, it protects men because they never have to worry about ,showing any of their personal sense of style. This way they need never risk having their egos hurt if someone were to comment negatively about their clothing. But Im rambling, so let me get to one of my greatest pet peeves. what Im really frustrated about is that for some reason the super practical male is not allowed to carry a purse? Originally purses were invented for use by both sexes back when clothing had no pockets.

Nothing bothers me more than having every pocket full of the necessary items I require to have with me daily. Keys, a hairbrush, money, my cheque book, cigarettes, a lighter, Kleenex, business cards, change for the bus, my wallet, some days my bank book, and those folded up pieces of paper I need to remind me of something. Nothing annoys me more than to hear a constant cacophony of rattling change every time I walk somewhere, and I find Im constantly squeezing my hands into my pockets in an often feeble attempt to quiet down this irritating noise. I probably spend at least an hour a day filling and emptying my pockets. when I leave to go somewhere, Ive got to make sure Ive got all of those items placed strategically in various pockets and then I have to make a mental note of where each item is. Often after this Ill end up spending another hour verifying that yes, I did actually put my keys or whatever in my pocket already.

Then theres the problem of which pocket that thing is in. Not to mention the necessity of shifting things around in order to prevent a fatal stabbing from a comb or the messy explosion of a pen. Coming home means another major ritual as I reach into the forty six pockets I have and empty them. Maybe the only reason that men dont wear makeup is that if they did, they then theyd have to find even more room in their pockets to carry their mascara, ‘ eyeliner and eye shadow. what if you go to a store to pick up some little item or what if youre like me and you like to read a book while youre on the bus?

Then youre really stuck. Either you force it into one of your pockets, or you end up using one of your hands to carry it. Suppose you have a sheet of paper to carry, what do you do? well, real men carry all sheets of paper and important documents all folded up into a two inch square in their pockets.

After all the only purse a real man thinks about is the forty million dollar purse some guy is going to win for beating some guys head in a boxing ring. Excuse me while I purse my lips into a big sigh. what do you do if youre wearing tight Jeans that have absolutely no room for anything, or shorts that have those tiny pockets. T-shirts don’t usually have pockets that are very big either, so often I end up having to wear extra clothes just so Ill have pockets. And what about all those clothes that have open pockets that you have to keep checking to make sure that you haven’t lost anything important? It sure is great being a practical male, isnt it? I do own a purse that could pass for a mans, but I dont carry it much. After hearing a few derogatory remarks from passers by, I gave up using it. I can take being called names, but I may as well be fully dressed if I have to put up with it. And if I walked into work carrying my male purse, Im sure the rumors would fly that I must be gay. No truly practical, “normal man would burden himself with such a silly article as a purse. Okay, Ill admit that Im a real purse abuser when Im being “allowed” to use my purse. Im one of those ladies who sometimes has got everything she could possibly need short of an overnight stay in her purse, and often it takes me awhile to find my lipstick or my keys. But so what? I know it’s there? And its still much more convenient to carry a purse.



Travels to Gasp

This is the third and concluding episode of Joanne’s trip to the east coast of Canada. We left Halifax and headed to Gaspe and Perce Rock on the east shore of Quebec on the Atlantic Ocean. we got a motel near Perce Rock after driving almost 450 miles. we were tired and wanted something to eat, so we headed to the closest restaurant.

After we ate, I got my camera to take some pictures of the rock from the pier.  The sun was at the right angle to light up the rock a golden color and it was beautiful to look at. we then headed back to the motel to rest. At the motel I changed into another outfit. I put on my blue dress with a full skirt and a pageboy wig, then touched up my makeup, put on my three inch heels and went for a walk in the town. Then back to the motel where I talked to the people who rented the room beside us. I talked in my most feminine voice possible, the same soft, medium pitch I used when ordering a meal. Anyway, we talked for about a half hour about the rock formations and the other parts of Canada we had enjoyed. The wind was blowing up the bluffs at the edge of the ocean, lifting my dress again and showing my slip. Either the couple did not notice or did not care who they were talking to, but it was enjoyable being accepted as a woman. I got used to eating in places like McDonalds and Swiss Chalet, sitting next to real people and not have them look at you with strange looks. I practiced being inconspicuous by learning to take smaller bites and sipping my drink. I guess the real test at being Joanne was in the Gaspe on the south shore of the St. Lawrence River. A Quebec Provincial Police speed trap in a small village caught me exceeding the speed limit. The officer pulled me over and asked for my drivers license and insurance. I grabbed my purse and gave him the papers; he walked back to his patrol car and proceeded to write up my ticket. He then returned and handed back the papers and the speeding ticket saying in French that my insurance had expired. I told him in a soft voice that I was on holiday and would look into it as soonas possible. Perhaps because the officer was French and my name was English, he didnt realize the name was masculine. Anyway, if my name had been Bob or Peter who knows what would have happened. I just wanted to tell you about my unforgettable three week vacation, living and being accepted as a female and dressing in the clothes I have always wanted to wear. Passing as a woman in public has allowed me to enjoy the beautiful things in life, and being a member of TriEss has let me indulge in my feminine fantasy forever.









The Notes from The UnderGround News Letter Vol.2 No.2

Sunday, March 13th, 2011

Ottawa, Canada March 1990 Vol.2 No.2

Lessons Learned: Crossdressing & Feminism

I, or we, belong to a very special group consisting of transvestites and some tanssexuals. My experience with this group has been wholesome, life Danding and generally a beautiful experience. Because of my crossdessing and the group, I am able to be a lot more open to my lady friends and while they have Excepted this part of me, theyve been kind ‘enough to point out inconsistencies in my attitude towards women in general. It seems that I was committing a few “faux Pas” and engaging in sexist comments while pretending to do otherwise. Thankfully they have stood by me and helped me to ease such boorish and self-defeating mannerisms.

I have divided my essay into three parts, to with part one examines some of my more colourful “faux pas”, part two deals with my desire to strengthen the group and lastly, I share some general views I subscribe to.

I hope you gain from this as much as I gained in learning it the hard way.

Part One

1. Never tell a woman that because you crossdress, you have gained a real knowledge of what a woman is. Although we gain a peek at some stereotype activities, not being born or actively living as females, we cannot fully understand what it means.

2. Never presume to tell or hint to a woman how much make-up to wear or what clothes would make her look more sexy. Thats telling any woman, that I a man, will show her how to be a woman,

3. I love high heels and mini skirts but Im beginning to think only teenaged girls and TVs wear them. It has been explained to me, quite rightly, that these are not very comfortable articles of clothing and most women want first of all to be comfortable. Also, they are not set on earth simply for my sexual arousal.

4. Feminisms goals are common sense goals and I for one have come to realize that my freedom and acceptance by society at large is incumbent on every minoritys freedom. In terms of power, women comprise the largest minority in the world, and need and deserve our wholehearted support. They merit our respect simply by being human.

5. Most people find it at first a touch hard to accept my transvestism, so why bore them with my life story and how I can relate to them. Once Ive told them Im a TV, most people are curious, then I can answer their questions briefly and succinctly. Im trying not to overwhelm anyone and to let them accept me at their own pace. So now I tell them only as they ask, so that over time, they become comfortable with who I am. I’m not only a TV, I’m also a myriad of complexities like any other human being.

6. Most new member’s wives/girlfriends/significant others are trying to accept their own mates crossdressing without any TV or TS telling them how close she is to her operation.

Ive found it tends to make them more ill at ease than accepting. If she really wants to know, she ask.

7. There are certain things that are a fact of life to a great number of women that I’ve glossed l over or even misunderstood thereby subconsciously belittling the very people I’m trying to emulate. In a majority of cases, being female means that one is underpaid and under valued for her contributions to her family, Job and society. It also means being aware constantly of people and places and violence. Too many women are forced to deal with hatred and violence as a fact of life. Sexism is as much an act of aggression as is rape and physical and emotional abuse.

Part Two

1. I have no greater Joy than to be crossdressed. It is at once relaxing, exciting, enjoyable and Just plain comfortable. why are we, as a whole, so fearful and ashamed to tell anyone? Transvestites and transsexuals should not be victimized by anyone, including ourselves. Be proud of who you are.

2. Please get involved in the group. Offer suggestions even if you think no one will agree. We may never have looked at some thing quite the way you do. So attend meetings if you can. If for some reason the group is not giving you what you expected, articulate these thoughts. Most disappointments are due to our not making ourselves understood.

3. when a new member Joins, make it a priority to make her feel at home and at ease. Introduce yourself and let her know she’s among friends.

4. Every group has a few members who have access or are available for specialized things, like access to a beautician or a shoe store or whatever. Make new members aware of whom these members are.

5. The newsletter is a diary, our record of where weve been, are at and are going, so please contribute. No matter how similar each of our histories were, youre unique and only you can feel your experiences. So share these with us so we can get to know you a little better.

Part Three

1. I am realizing that I and only I create my own walls, my own person. I must seek and acquire my own acceptance and happiness. To quote Emerson: “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” He may not have had any TV friends but it speaks to me. To also quote the ancient philosopher Epictetus who in Discourses wrote: “No man is free who isnot master of himself.”,

2. You are a unique, wonderful, creative, vibrant, fairly well adjusted member of society who happens to love wearing womens clothes at times. So what? I usually remind friends of what a wise old man once told me: “Instead of biting off my finger, look to where its pointing.” Let me say that although one is forever alone, born and dies alone, we can touch upon each other in joy, however briefly.

Lets celebrate our uniqueness and try to enjoy each and every moment of the only life we get. Shame and guilt are someone elses opinions, not mine. I choose life, not as a victim or victimizer, but as a Joyful and creative human being either while Im dressed or in my male self. I am a humanist and very pro feminist because Ive honestly searched my soul and come to the realization that womens goals are my own to a great extent. Freedom is conditional on every person being free around me. I may not be able to change the world, but I can try with a smile and my inner Joy to affect the changes I can make. My own dream is to liberate transvestites and transsexuals from the closet that society wants to keep us in. I ask for no help and whether or not Im successful isnt germane to anyone else at all. I Just choose not to hide who I am. Let me once more quote Emerson. “whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.” I want to get every ounce of Joy and love out of my life, so how can I hide or feel shame for a part of it. I cannot forget the old maxim “wherever I go, there I am” a male who loves to crossdress.

Niki Avon


I recently came across your groups newsletter (issue 89, no. 4) and enjoyed it very much. There isn’t a whole lot out there for us, so its always nice to hear how others are doing. I particularly liked your article “Limited by the Fantasy”. I am 38 years old and I began wearing women’s clothes for the first time about eight years ago. How I got started doesnt matter at this stage, so I wont bore you – its a long story. However, I have had my wifes understanding, support and encouragement right, from day one, and I believe acceptance by 0ne’s spouse, to a large extent, determines Just how far some of us will go. I agree with you that it isn’t necessary for someone to have a second identity Just because he likes feminine attire. For years I wished I could wear what I liked in public, whether it was Just a skirt or the whole nine yards. But it wasnt to be, I was confined to the house, afraid to go out. But the worst part was being alone. were there other couples like us? A year and a half ago, I managed to begin corresponding with others. They all sent photos of gorgeous women; themselves! I was Jealous. I’d never used makeup and I didnt even own a wig. I was curious as to just how feminine I could look. We ended up spending a small fortune on makeup, a larger one on a wig. My first few tries were horrid to say the least. However, I eventually got the hang of it and when my wife thought I looked reasonable, we shot a roll of film. I sent off reprints to my correspondents and life alone came to an end. After meeting another crossdresser for the very first time, I realized that for me, complete femininity in public was what I really wanted. I didnt want to be thought of as a man in womens clothes. I wanted to blend in with other women and share their lifestyle. Good or bad, I wanted to experience everyday life as a woman. I when I finally did go out for the first time, I experienced emotions that I never had before.I truly felt as if I was a female. It wasnt Just the clothes anymore. I realized for the first time I had a strong female personality. when I began crossdressing, a second identity was the farthest thing from my mind. But after being in public, all that changed, and with my wifes encouragement, my femininity became so strong that it had to be expressed outwardly. You made a good point when you said we put too much emphasis on “passing”. We tend to think of it as the ultimate goal, but it really isnt. For those of us who do go out, it is important, but not as important as confidence lets face it, no one fools all the` people all the time. Its the ability to look people straight in the eye, even when we know weve been spotted. But of course to get this far one must put a lot of emphasis on “passing”. Its the classic “Catch 22?

Its hard to pass when you have no confidence in yourself. It’s hard to be confident if you dont pass very well. But even this isnt always true. I know crossdressers who have a hard time passing several hundred feet away, yet they still go shopping and to restaurants; and believe it or not, they are seldom harassed, the worst reactions being a snide remark, the lightest being a laugh or nothing at all. The extent to which some of us dress or behave also depends on how we think society will react. I’m sure those who dream of shopping for a dress or lingerie would do so if they thought they would not attract attention. But there is always the fear of aggression, and for that reason alone, most of us will never experience life as a “woman” in public. True, a lot of crossdressers have no desire to dress completely as women. For some, the thought of shaved legs, makeup and perfume is considered too extreme. Others believe that those of us who spend a lot of time as women are on the verge of a sex change. Still others think that if you dont dress completely in every detail, why bother at all? But the beauty of our lifestyle is that there is no right or wrong way. We dress solely to express our femininity. we of all people shouldnt be Judging people by what they wear! This letter may be giving you the impression that every time I dress I go hell bent for leather, but that isnt the case. I feel just as good about myself at home in maybe a dress and heels without all the makeup as I do all dolled up ready to go downtown. But none of this would be possible if it were not for one thing (excluding my wife), and that is support groups. without such groups, we all probably still be stuck in our closets, doomed to a life of loneliness and guilt. I think its great that your group produces a newsletter.

Such publications are necessary in that they inform others as to just how large and diverse the crossdressing population is. when the general public get hold of such literature, it helps them to understand but not necessarily accept us. But it is a step in the right direction. In closing, I’d like to say you are right about being “limited by the fantasy.”

Un-known Author

This is the continuing story of Joanne and her mother traveling to the east coast of Canada. After leaving Toronto, we headed back Ito Ottawa to get ready for the next leg of our trip. I had packed several outfits along with my prettiest lingerie, Jewelry, wigs, makeup and high heel shoes so Joanne could look her best every day. I had packed a sweat shirt and jeans Just in case we had any problems. I was wearing a comfortable skirt and blouse as we had to drive a few miles to our first rest stop. It felt good to be able to express myself as Joanne and to sign motel registers as a woman, and to be treated as a female by the guys and girls who waited on us or filled the gas tank on my car we drove for several hours enjoying the sights before we would find a motel where we could freshen up and relax for awhile before eating. Sometimes I would have to change my clothes as they were creased from sitting down, and then fix up my makeup and comb my hair, making sure everything was Just right. we would eat at the finer restaurants in town, then take a walk looking at the sights or window shop, then head back to the motel and watch television. I would then slip into my silk and lace negligee and fall asleep wondering if all girls were this lucky. The next morning I let my mother use the washroom first as I picked out my clothes for the day. when she finished, I gathered my clothes and makeup and went into the washroom to begin my transformation. I put on my makeup, which took about an hour trying to hide my male features, then my nylons, bra and panty set, beautiful nylon and lace full slip, wig, high heels, Jewelry and a dress. Every day was better than the last as Joanne was getting better at makeup, walking, sitting, eating and even standing while waiting for something. we traveled through Quebec, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and P.E.I., stopping at some of the smaller towns to take pictures and walk down the main. street to window shop.

We stayed for a few days in Halifax as I wanted to see our navy and some of the historic landmarks in the area. The first day we took a walk on the boardwalk on the harbour front. I was wearing a dress with a full skirt, my shoulder length wig and high heel shoes. The wind was gusting around as we walked, lifting my dress a little and allowing my slip to show. We looked at some of the old wooden sailing ships in port and some of the ocean going vessels loading up with cargo. Up until now Joanne had never been real close to anybody for a long period of time; even in restaurants my back had been to the people. well all that ended when my mother and I went on a sightseeing cruise on a tour boat. The cruise lasted about two hours and was a real test of Joannes ability to pass as a woman. when we boarded the boat, the first mate helped me and my mother aboard. There were about seventy five passengers on board as we headed out into the harbour and the Atlantic Ocean. The host explained all the historic sights in the harbour as we passed some navy ships and submarines. The wind was blowing harder in the open water and my skirt was lifting up again, showing off my slip. Nell, so what?

My wig was sticking to my makeup as it blew around, my earrings were clanging as they hit the side of my neck, but I felt really good about myself. I was secure at being a woman and being accepted by everyone on the cruise. The trip was enjoyed by all. I thanked the crew members as I left the boat and then had to fix myself up as the salt water had splashed on my face and made my mascara run a little. The feeling I had while out on the water cannot be described, but Joanne was accepted as a real woman.

The next day we went shopping at some of the bigger malls. Sometimes we went into stores and tried on a few outfits and I would look into the mirror and see Joanne. We would also go into the lingerie boutiques where Joanne would touch the soft fabric of a beautiful negligee hanging on a rack or feel the satin of a lace teddy draped over a chair. Each time I wanted to buy the feminine article and put it in my wardrobe next to my other clothes, but unfortunately Joanne did not have that kind of money to spend.

Next Issue:

Joanne Goes to the Gasp


The Notes from The UnderGround News Letter Vol.2 No.1

Saturday, March 5th, 2011

Ottawa, Canada         Winter 89/90           Vol.2          No.1

Adventures an Owen Sound


Hi, my name is Glenn and I would like to tell you about my coming out as Joanne.


First though, a little history, It all started when I was about four or five years old. I would dress up in my sisters clothes and parade, around the house. My family was not aware of my little games of putting on a pretty dress or a lacy slip or just some soft panties while no one was home. All through high school I would dress up as much as possible, putting on a pretty skirt and Blouse with a slip and nylons. Or I would fall asleep in a lovely, soft night gown and dream of beautiful feminine clothes. Some days I would go window shopping and look at the crinolines and slips and the lacy bra and panty sets. Up until my 42nd birthday, I played all my dress up games indoors. This year my other self had to get out and see the world. I l became aware of Triess through Judy K., and then, in the fall, I went on a trip that would change my life forever. My destination was Owen Sound, Ontario and a store called Fantasyland, which helps crossdressers achieve a more feminine look.

My mother, who understands my crossdressing, came with me on the trip to see this store and lend an ear as we drove. I was wearing a pretty skirt and white blouse, my test soft lace slip, panties, bra, nylons, high heels, wig, jewelry and make up, which I thought was OK. We arrived in Owen Sound in the evening after seven hours of driving and drove to the store to check out the opening times posted in the window. While looking in the window, the door to the store opened and the owner appeared and invited me inside. Normally only your male self is allowed in the store, but since it was after hours she let me in. I was nervous, but she put me at ease and welcomed me into Fantasyland. My mother stayed in the car while I had a tour of the place; there were silk nightgowns, party dresses, wigs and costumes; books on transvestites and crossdressing, and catalogues for ordering the special equipment that crossdressers need to become that special lady for an evening. I made arrangements to come the next day and have a complete transformation from Glenn to Joanne and to spend a few dollars in her store. The next day Glenn showed up, although I was wearing my lingerie underneath my male clothes. Debby, the owner, showed me to the back where I looked at all the books again, and bought a set of catalogues for our chapter and some books for myself.

Debby had been serving other customers while I was in the back room. She came back and led me to another room where she told me to put on my feminine clothes and to sit in a chair near a make up table. She then started to apply camouflage to my face to hide my beard. Then came the foundation, eyeshadow, blush, eyeliner and lipstick. Each time Debby applied my cosmetics, she showed me the proper way to apply them, and how to blend each one into the other so it would look natural. She must have spent an hour trying to enhance the female features of my face. While she applied my make up, we talked about people like myself who have the desire to wear feminine clothes and about being able to act out our fantasy of being a woman, even if only for an hour or an evening or a few days. When Debby finished, she put my wig on me and combed it out. I had not seen myself yet because she wanted to get the right effect before letting me see myself in the mirror. I stood up, but Debby told me my skirt and blouse did not look right She left the room and returned with a beautiful blouse and skirt that she had got from the costume room. I put them on.

The blouse had ruffles in the front and the skirt was pleated. After a few adjustments, they fit perfectly. Finally she led me over to a full length mirror. Standing there with a beautiful smile on her face was Joanne. My heart skipped a beat when I looked at her because I never would have believed she could look so good. I couldn’t resist twirling around and posing in different ways. I was in seventh heaven and smiling from ear to ear. After about ten minutes, I came back to .earth and Debby spray some perfume on me which smelled, really feminine. In the meantime, she had gathered my other clothes and put them in a plastic bag. I picked up the bag and headed for the front door. Debby gave me a hug and wished me luck as I stepped out into the real world as Joanne. After leaving, I picked up my mother and we headed to Toronto to have supper at Honest Ed’s Warehouse, about a two hour drive from Owen Sound. At the restaurant, the waiters treated us well and smiled when they served the food, not knowing the game I was playing. Of course, the tip was worth the pleasure I was having. This story is a bit long, but part two will be in the next news letter, about my trip as Joanne and her mother traveling to the east coast of Canada, and the pleasure of being a woman for almost three weeks. See you soon.




Well its time for another newsletter and I thought, seeing as how some of the others in the group have already made the effort to contribute to it, I had better get off my ass and do my share. The following recipes are quick and simple to prepare, usually requiring one pot or pan.


ONE lb. lean hamburger

ONE can Campbells cream of mushroom soup

ONE packet Bovril Beef Bouillon instant mix

ONE clove garlic, minced, if desired

FOUR tbsp. sour cream

l /4 CUP Fresh parsley, diced, for color and taste

Salt & Pepper

Worcestershire sauce

Fry hamburger in fry pan til well cooked.

When done drain all fat from the pan.

Add the Bovril, mushroom soup and sour cream. Add the garlic if desired.

Stir till well mixed.

Add salt & pepper, plus a dash or two of Worcestershire to suite your taste.

Let simmer for ten to fifteen minutes stirring occasionally.

Just before sewing, stir in the fresh parsley, then garnish with a few sprigs.

Serve hot over toast, rice, or noodles.

Any leftovers may be used as a filling for sandwiches the next day.


ONE can sweetened condensed milk (8 oz. EAGLE BRAND)

ONE premade graham cracker pie shell (KEEBLERS brand)

FOUR egg yolks

FOUR ozs. fresh lime juice or concentrated juice

Mix sweetened condensed milk with the egg yolks ’til blended.

Add lime juice and blend thoroughly.

Pour into pie shell and refrigerate four to six hours.

Garnish with slices of fresh lime and top with your favorite whipped topping.

Bon appetite.


On the Outside: A TS Perspective


Every Morning when we wake up with ourselves, we go through a brief period of self-recognition. The problems of the previous day re-appear in our memories, along with those 1 things we stored away in our minds as tasks we must remember to do in the day ahead. For me, my moment of self recognition is always one of realizing that once again I must face my overwhelming female self Sometimes upon awakening, I’ll ask myself, “Am I really going to end up spending the entire day feeling like I should be a woman all day?” Within seconds it all returns to me, often before my feet touch the floor. In my life three things are inevitable: death, taxes and I feeling like I am a woman.

Every woman I see during each day only serves to remind me of my feelings, for each woman I see brings feelings of intense envy, sadness and longing to be a physical woman. At work I constantly feel uncomfortable being a male, and for some time now, I despise doing anything as a male. The worst thing now is being in a state of indecision. I no longer need to ask myself why, but now I need to ask myself how and when. Be-coming a woman is the dominating issue on my mind and I am striving towards making some very big decisions in my life. I keep wondering when I’ll have the answer, but often many days after a great deal of thought, I’ll realize that I won’t know the answer today and because of this I shouldn‘t try to pressure myself into making a decision until it comes naturally. It’s important to learn to be patient with yourself sometimes.

Ive known about this problem for twenty four of my twenty seven years, thought I’d grow out of it _for twelve years, waited it out for another ten years and Ive been seriously trying to resolve it for about two years. I just hope that I can reach a decision before too many more years are lost. For most of the last two years I cried every day out of fear, despair and loneliness. Meeting others similar to myself has given me a lot of courage and has really helped a lot. I’d reached the stage two years ago where I could no longer face my old male friends and feel comfortable, and so ended up alone. I must offer my sincerest thanks to Judy, Leigh, Rachel, Jenny, Barbara, Lary, Ted and anyone else I forgot to mention for having been so nice and helpful. It has really made a big difference in my life. I can still feel pretty down and scared at times, but at least I know that there are others who care. I might cry once in a week now for a few minutes, which is an improvement I didn’t think I’d ever reach.

I just wish that some of the TS community would stick around a little longer before vanishing into the wood work. I would like so much to know more of these people, to talk with them about how they got through their fears and indecisions, and to know how

they felt throughout the whole experience. I have met several TS people briefly in the past and I have heard of several in Ottawa, but so few are willing to be available in our city. I can understand their reasons for wanting to get on with their lives, but it would be nice if there could be a little more solidarity among the TS community in our city.




This is the story of The Forbidden Garment. You know, the one that took you to absolute submission; in short, the point of no return. This is what it looks like:

Yes, my friends, it’s a bra. Back when I was about 18 years old, I got a hold of one, along with a pair of panties and pantyhose, but it was the bra that got me. Sure, my main love is satin blouses, but when I put on a bra that first time it allowed me to experience the full shape of womanhood; and you know me, when I say full, I mean full. I take a size 42-D. Excessive? You bet! I knew it was going to be like that way back when I was 13, I always felt it was the quintessentially feminine garment, so I resisted it through most of my teen years, but…to no avail!


Editor’s Note: Well, as Oscar Wilde said, “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”




A recent survey has revealed that nearly half of all women residing in North America are in fact men living as women. The shocking discovery was made following a recent reader survey by True Woman magazine.


Thirty one year old Renee Schwarzenegger has become the first male to female transsexual to win a major women’s bodybuilding title. Renee, a resident of Santa Monica California was crowned Ms. Olympia after out flexing the world’s finest women bodybuilders in a dramatic pose down before a sold out crowd at Caesar’s Palace.


Canadian Olympic athlete Beth Johnson has denied allegations that she took banned .

Estrogenic hormones prior to setting her world record in the women’s one hundred metres following the Seoul Olympics. Suspicions were aroused following Ms. Johnson’s recent arrest for pointing a starter’s pistol at a passing motorist in Toronto.


Sources close to the RCMP revealed today that a suspected transvestite was seen entering a taxi in downtown Ottawa recently. It is reported that the man was not dressed as a woman at the time, but “he had that look about him” said Ottawa Bureau chief Sgt. Robert O’Malley